A’yo, You!: Consent & Loving Others

A’yo you…you right there with more love to give than the world will  accept! You are pro-consent, so start acting like it.

Consent is not a term reserved for sexual activity or that thing police are supposed to have before raiding Brown bodies (but seldom do). Consent is a term rooted in respect for the world around you. Respecting others as equals means asking permission. Healthy relationships of any nature require consent.

With this in mind, let us discuss the passion you exude in connecting with people. You love the idea of loving others. You adore the idea of being beneficial to the life of someone else. Fantasies of close, long-lasting friendships crowd your mind. Knowing the darkest parts of an individual is what you long for. This is dangerous.

You will often cross people who are not ready to accept what you have to offer at that point in their lives. They will not consent to having your in their life in the manner that you wish. This is okay. What you must do as someone who is ready, willing, and able is to accept their unacceptance, respect them, and move on. Understand that it is a combination of your personality and your upbringing that causes you to act as you do. As Samael said:

“We [military brats] are used to moving around a lot, so when we meet people who could be a good addition to our lives we hold on to them and try to add them as quickly as possible.”

Understand that this haste causes discomfort in others. People are often hesitant to reveal too much of themselves in too little time in fear of judgement. They may not know that you do not believe in judgement. They may not know that their secrets are safe with you. They may not know you, which causes a fear in getting to know you. Counterproductive, sure, but humans are human.

Do not chase them. Do not force yourself into their lives (for ‘force’ goes against the principle of consent that you abide by). When they are ready, if they ever are, they will come to you. Until then, stop trying to cultivate something out of nothing. The short responses and messages that go unreplied damage your esteem. They make you question what is wrong with you and why the person didn’t want to talk. But you are not the problem, dear. It wasn’t that you weren’t good enough, cute enough, smart enough, or anything else. Sometimes the stars just don’t align. Again, this is okay.

Maybe you will cross paths again. Maybe they will be in a different place in life and ready to consent to your well-intentioned invasion of their lives. Maybe you will never see each other again. Maybe they will never know. There will be others.

No matter what, you need to love yourself more than you love others. Love yourself, love. Let go and love yourself.


One thought on “A’yo, You!: Consent & Loving Others

  1. I like this. It is very intuitive and full of truth. If I may, I would also like to add that some people have trust issues because they were abandoned at a young age by their biological parents. It is hard to get past being rejected by the people who were supposed to love you most, and it is something that 99% of people will never fully understand, and that’s ok too. It is extremely lonely, yet very difficult to get past, even after years of therapy.


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